Caged In - 12/20/08

Covered in your fears
Drenched from head to toe
Far away you hear
And then you know

They're afraid too
Time to break free
Anger unfolds
First to find the key

Twisted in rage
Still locked in the cage
Iron bars holding tight
The restricting, burning fight

They come from all sides
But they realize you're different
Something new in your eyes
They can't trust it

Break out of your confines
Too late, they tried
You're stronger now
You can take them down

But wait
It's not over yet
From every corner they flood
They must repay a debt

They have something to hide
You can't get away
You think you should run
But instead you must stay

You wake up suddenly
Your heart pounding
You glance around wildly
Just another fairytale

Note

No longer bothering with the 'about' paragraph after every poem. Can't be bothered. :D

Wilted - 12/20/08

You're better off broken
You're better off dead
You're better off wilted
What could I have said?

You're better off
Or so you thought
It's not always true
Just another robot

What could have been
If you'd stopped to listen?
What would have changed?
Would it all be the same?

Now we're all broken
A part of us dead
Mangled and wilted
What could we have said?

Spinning - 12/17/08

Fifteen
Nowhere to turn
It's just a dream
Until you burn

Blow the horn
Finger on the trigger
Open the door
Create your own danger

Twenty-two
Did you let go?
The roller coaster is shaking
Fall back to you

The world spins softly
Quicker if you fall
Turn off the spotlights
Let go of it all

Thirty-six
One last kiss
Forty-eight
Now it's too late

Here we stand
On our own
The seconds run
Follow us home

Until it's over
And our time is done
We fall away
Too close to stay

-----
What it's about; Various things. Life is short, you have to hang on to what you have while you have it.

Livewire Scars – 12/13/08

You’re standing on a live wire
About to fall off
Your shelf life’s expired
A warning sign above

Attention all shoppers
Five minutes to close
Please buy a watch
Before you’re late and left on your own

Sketch out the future
Beware the erasers
Time now to lose it
Don’t forget to lock the door

Paint your star
Into the sky
Stick up your scars
They help you remember your life

You are in control
Don’t abuse the power
The tape will roll
You only have an hour

-----
What it's about; You're not supposed to forget the past. That's like forgetting a piece of your life, and it's too short for that. By the time it's over, it feels like it's barely been an hour since you were born and you can't spend it bothering to forget about things you never will. People make mistakes, but that doesn't mean forgetting them will make them go away.

Sirens and Hail Storms - 12/06/08

Up all night
Listening to the rain
Releasing the fight
Inside my brain

The sirens are blaring
The hail coming down
The lightning is glaring
I think I might drown

Enough is too much
When your thoughts go astray
It might need a push
Before it goes away

Distract yourself
Before you're over the edge
You might need some help
To calm your head

The sirens the rain
Unravel the day
Pull down the curtains
Complaining won't cut it

-----
What it's about; I can't think of anyone who hasn't felt so entirely BLAH at least once in their lives that they could be calmed simply by yelling it out. Sometimes you just need to toss some things around, throw something, and pull the curtains down.
Other notes; Think She's Gonna Break Soon from Less Than Jake.

Missing Shadows - 12/06/08

A crack in the mirror
Repay the debt
The meanings are clearer
Frame the silhouette

Broken thoughts
Where'd you go?
Connect the dots
I still miss you

And I know
It makes no difference to you
What I say, what I do
I'm not me without you

A crack in the mirror
Repay the debt
The meanings are clearer
Frame the silhouette

Time to let go
Time to run wild
I shouldn't have to miss you
After all I'm just a child

Strained is the time
They say I'll be fine
I was
When you were mine

A crack in the mirror
Repay the debt
The meanings are clearer
Frame the silhouette

Now every shadow
Reminds me of you
A shadow is what you are now
I wish I wish I knew

-----
What it's about; Missing people. Regardless of how you knew them, it always hurts when they're gone.

Downplay - 12/04/08

Paint splattered
Tables turned
Hearts shattered
Memories burned

You think too much
About where you’re going
You’re in a rush
Never slowing

You’re going way too fast
Beginnings don’t last
Time to turn the pages
Don’t forget to read the words

Automatic
Let it turn
Systematic
Let it burn

Slow down
It’s not a race
She says
“Don’t rip the lace, now”
Slow down
It’s not a race
She says
“Don’t turn around.”

They say
You’re gonna be the best
But it’s possible
You’ll miss out on the rest

Can you live this way?
I’d go insane
Will you be okay?
Their words are in vain

Automatic
Let it turn
Systematic
Let it burn

Slow down
It’s not a race
She says
“Don’t rip the lace, now”
Slow down
It’s not a race
She says
“Don’t turn around”

Will you look back
On the things you didn’t do?
Don’t regret unmade mistakes
Don’t forget about you

Slow down
Life’s not a race
Don’t turn around

Slow down
They’ll come around
Think it through
Don’t forget about you

Automatic
Let it turn
Systematic
Let it burn

-----
What it’s about; A friend and I had a conversation a few months ago about life. The question – is it better to simply live and have fun doing it, or to work your tail off to be the best you possibly can? I think the conclusion we came to was both. Or neither, depending on how you look at it. It doesn’t particularly matter how you live your life, so long as you’re happy with it. And when you’re not, you need to change something.
My personal view is that if you’re not having fun, screw what the rest of the world says and do something you love doing. Life is short and it’s not worth wasting it on something you don’t care about because you’re trying to please everyone else.
Other notes; The ‘automatic’ lines kept playing in my head one day, but I never came up with anything to fit them into. Now with this, I like it. For me, if you go automatic, you’re just taking things as they come. But systematic is going with the system, and that doesn’t work for me.

Off-track - 12/03/08

You said I shouldn’t tell anybody
But this could be serious
You said I shouldn’t tell anybody
But you’re making me worry

Are you listening?
Can you answer me?
I lost it all when
I gave it all to you

Don’t do this to us
Haven’t we been through enough?
We don’t want to have to miss you
I feel like I’m losing you too

I dropped my guard
I lost my nerve
You took it all
Away

The ice is melting
Production halting
The problems glaring
How are you faring?

You’ve broken my sanity
Thrown out the key
Toppled it over
Did you forget about me?

Push it under the bed
Stick a pin in it
Kick it under the carpet
Let it go

You should be scared
You should be terribly afraid
But their words aren’t worth the worry
Look away, let them stare

Their words aren’t worth the worry
Faster now, we’re in a hurry

The hourglass empties
Don’t turn around
It’s too late

Can’t look back
We’re not on track
Going the wrong way
Not everyone can stay

Fall apart
Break the beams
Drift away
Snap the seams

Their words aren’t worth the worry
Look away, let them stare
Faster now, we’re in a hurry
Don’t turn around, it’s too late

Going the wrong way
Not everyone can stay

-----
What it’s about; Not entirely my own life, so much as those of people I know, and how that affects my life. [And yes, people, not one person.] When things start changing or there are problems going on, you just have to wonder why. How it happened, how you never thought it would, or how you didn’t see it. Whatever the problem, it takes a part of you away with it. When there are secrets being kept, it seems better to hide them rather than throw them into the open. It’s just not a particularly fun process for anyone involved.
Other notes; The second, fourth, and sixth stanzas were part of something else, but taking both pieces alone didn’t fit as well as mashing them together, so that’s what I did.

Am I a nonconformist? Yeah; hey, where's my eyeliner? - 08/21/08

Painted nails
And rainbow socks
The time has come
To turn back the clock

Polka dots
Funky bows
Spiked hair
Pierced nose

The stares and glares
Soon are too much
Let down the hair
Tighten the clutch

Painted nails
And rainbow socks
The time has come
To turn back the clock

Short skirt
Sleek hair
Big flirt
Never a scare

The stares and glares
Soon are too much
Change the hair
Loosen the clutch

Painted nails
And rainbow socks
The time has come
To turn back the clock

They won't be happy
Until you're like them
Yet they forever change
To match the latest trend

Painted nails
And rainbow socks
The time has come
To turn back the clocks

Let down the hair
Frayed are the seams
Try not to care
Say what you mean

Painted nails
And rainbow socks
The time has come
To stop the clocks

-----
What it's about; People tend to have issues with people who aren't like them. They stare, they whisper and they all-around irritate. Yet the second something new comes along, they distort themselves to match it. Better to be yourself and be happy than to give in to the complaints of others and be something you're not.
Other notes; Well, now you see where the title of this blog comes from, don't you?

The Black Book of Life - 08/21/08

Colors swirling
Red blue and black
Pages unfurling
Under the mask

Set the records down
Switch the music off
And turn around
But never stop

The story keeps writing
Itself in circles
The music keeps playing
Though it's been shut off

The cycle of the world
Spinning in circles
The motion of our life
Momentarily stop

Weightlessly hanging
Deep in space
The colors still painting
The hidden days

The story is over
But the music still plays

-----
What it's about; One specific moment in time can make your life stand still. Not change it, not always, but stop it. The world can be revolving around you, but your own life can suddenly be so different - in a good or bad way - that nothing else matters.

Imperfect Reality in a Bottle - 05/24/08

I take out my brush
Paint patterns to my room
Anything to stop the rush
To take my mind off you

With every motion
The paint sweeps away
The lines and emotions
Another of our days

Painted cracks in the furniture
The imperfections become real
No longer mere drawings
So harsh I can feel

-----
What it's about; I think by now, if you've read any of the previous poems, you can probably figure out which ones apply to one situation, while others have their own meanings. Ding ding ding.

Picture Frame - 04/24/08

Not ecstatic
Not sad
Not melancholy
Not glad

The emotions run rampant
Swirl inside my head
Absolute joy
Ever-present dread

No way to stop it
No way to turn the tables
No way to fix it
I thought I'd be able

So many feelings
All at once
The pictures unyielding
Making me numb

I'd rather be angry
With something to feel
Instead I'm just broken
Unsure if it's real

-----
What it's about; Again with that one situation. This is pretty much me learning the true meaning of the song 'Pain' from Three Days Grace for myself.

Forgetful - 04/23/08

The tears and the pain
Drowned out by pounding rain
Scars and broken thoughts
The good old days and wasted memories

I know what went wrong
I know you've moved on
I know I'm too late
But I can't let go

I should be furious
Happy it's over
All I've been through
Yet I still miss you

I keep thinking I need you
Then I'm happy you're gone
Thoughts in technicolor
From red to gray in a matter of days

We are not the same
I'm happy for you in a way
Still jealous of her
Knowing you'll never remember me.

-----
What it's about; The same bitter feelings of the post before this, in a completely different context. Same situation, different feelings.

Letter to No One - 02/11/08

I woke up this morning
You were on my mind
I try not to think about you
Because the thoughts are not kind

We had a nice run
But I'm walking for a while
I admit I had fun
Sorry to end it without style

I had to be blunt
To truly make you see
Not just the edges in front
But how it has to be

I don't mean to be cruel
But I'm finished
I'm done
With playing the fool

Your thoughts went astray
You took me for granted
I can't stay
This isn't what I wanted.

-----
What it's about; Bitter feelings, naturally.

She Doesn't Know - 02/11/08

She doesn't know
Just what to expect
Or how to let go
Of her past regrets

She made some mistakes
Been without hope
Wishing to replace
And learn to let go

She has to start over
Escape the destruction
Leave it forever
Start again with protection

She can't rewind her life
But things can be changed
The future can be reversed
Without the past to blame.

-----
What it's about; It has to do with a number of people, myself included. Everyone makes mistakes now and again, some worse than others, some aren't able to be reversed. But you have to learn to let go of them before you can move on.

No One Knows - 02/11/08

What's going on?
Can you tell me what went wrong?

Deaths and regret
Dwelling on the past
Too much to fret
Too long it lasts

What's going on?
Tell me what went wrong.

Murder and pills
No one will say
This world's going to hell
And soon we will pay

What's going on?
Tell me what went wrong.

Nobody cares
No one knows
No one can share
The tainted river flows

What's going on?
Can you tell me what went wrong?
Tell me what went wrong.

-----
What it's about; The world is screwed. Simple enough.

Perfect Emergency - 01/13/08

You can shut the door
That you came through before
Your time has been spent
It came and it went

I will not be
One of your casualties
I refuse to be
Who you want to see

You thought you could change me
You thought I'd be perfect
How can I make you see
It just isn't worth it
I know what you want
I know who I'll be
You're making it harder
The perfect emergency

I like who I am
And I'll do what I can
But I'll never promise
To be the person that you miss

-----
What it's about; I despise having people try to change me. I know who I am and I refuse to change for anyone else. If someone doesn't like me, that's their choice, and it makes no difference to me. I'll try to be civil, but I will not change myself for anyone else. I am me, take it or leave it.
Other notes; This one was also originally written to be a song, a sort of punk anthem, but I like it in poem form.

Crash and Rewind - 01/05/08

The day begins again
I'm running till the end
Undeniable what's happening
Stumbling without seeing

I quicken my pace
Let living begin
Life is a race
Rewind it again

Crash into
Another wall
You can't get up
When you fall
The memories flash
Before your eyes
Fly through your time
And crash

You're learning how
To take things as they come
Trying now
To find your home

Confusion unwinds
You're free of your binds
Yet lost in a sea
Of your swirling mind

Let go of the past
You're going too fast
Savor the days
Before they're gone astray

Years gone in flashes
Get rid of the ashes

Crash into
Another wall
You can't get up
When you fall
The memories flash
Before your eyes
Fly through your time
And crash

Crash now
Don't back down
Keep moving
You're losing
You're falling faster
Through the days
Save yourself
Don't turn away
Don't turn away
Don't turn away

Crash into
Another wall
You can't get up
When you fall
The memories flash
Before your eyes
Save what's left of your time
And crash
Crash...

Crash into
Another wall
You can't get up
When you fall
The memories flash
Before your eyes
Fly through your time
And crash.

-----
What it's about; Life is short. If you go too fast, you'll crash.
Other notes; This was originally written as a song, but seeing how I can't carry a tune in a bucket and I'm not sure I'd be able to get another arrangement together, it's now in poem-form.

Blind - 11/28/07

Look through the glass
You are what you see
Is this really
What you want to be?

A living rail
The look of fright
Staggeringly frail
A pitiful sight

Step through the mirror
Just realize
Goodbye tot he fear
And remain alive

Media images
False illusions
Flip the pages
Great confusion

Drop another pound
Walking forward
Barely a sound
Blindly through the mist

-----
What it's about; It's a constant conversation, how the media distorts images to make everyone think they need to be horrifically and unhealthily thin to be 'right'. Unfortunately, too many people believe the illusions and it results in horrible sickness and other problems. I'm sick of people being so easily misguided.

Water's Treasure - 11/27/07

The rain coming down
Soaking you clean
Inside and out
Whatever you've seen

All your secrets
Are washed away
No need to fret
They're gone for today

Stay forever
In the water's grasp
It's dripping treasure
Don't leave too fast

-----
What it's about; Secrets can get muddled and confusing, and sometimes you just need to let it out, someone to listen, to be your rain.

Winter in Paradise - 11/27/07

The leaves are still green
Everywhere to be seen
The snow will never fall
Everywhere but the mall

The colors are the same
All year long
No leaves fall down the drain
Something seems wrong

Though you can still swim
Even in late December
Imagine you have fins
The snow you'll never remember

No need to worry
About driving on frozen streets
Falling icicles
Or frosted feet

The 'Sunshine State' for a reason
'Tis the season

-----
What it's about; It's just something fun, about my being annoyed at the lack of snow in my all-too-hot state. Sigh.

Bright Confusion - 11/27/07

Confusion and frustration
Without salvation
No thoughts of concentration

A silenced past
Broken future
Laid to rest
All hope remains futile

Break down all the walls
Reveal your hands
Let go, don't fall
Figure it out

Whatever goes wrong
Anything that isn't right
If the confusion's too strong
Just look to the light.

-----
What it's about; Things get odd and confusing and frustrating, and it seems that everything is wrong and never going to turn around. But there's always a bright side. Sometimes you just need someone to point it out.

Daylight's Dream - 11/27/07

Flashes of purple, baby blue and red
Not a bit of fear
No traces of dread
No evil is here

Though dreams are for night
Behind our eyes
Often filled with fright
Sometimes the truth lies

In the silent abyss
That is the sleeping mind
No good times are missed
All bad left behind

It is but a dream
Where we can show
Exactly what we mean
And never have to let go

When we awake
The dream could end
Remember it in daylight
Replay it again.

-----
What it's about; Dreams are said to tell something about one's life. You can go back to times and people that are no longer around, you can say what you mean and just...let go.
Other notes; In the last line of the second stanza it says 'Sometimes the truth lies.' That can be taken two ways. One, that now and again the truth can be seen in your dreams if you look hard enough. Two, that sometimes the truth really isn't as true as you think it is.

Calming Nightmares - 11/27/07

I think I forgot to tell you
How I felt today
I have to show you
There must be a way

What I'd do without you
All you've done for me
How much I need you
I have to make you see

There's got to be a way
To show how thankful I am
I'll find it someday
This must be a bigger plan

I can't fully say in words
The things I mean to show
Of all the people in this world
I'm lucky that it's you I know

Bringing me out of my shell
All the times I've shared
Keeping me from a living hell
A waking nightmare

No matter what happens
If I don't see you again
If tomorrow's the end
Just know
I'm glad we're friends

-----
What it's about; A certain friend of mine has helped me through more than she'll ever understand. This is a feeble attempt to explain a small part of that to her.
Other notes; This does apply to a few of my friends and I hope they know that. It was written for and about one, but I love you all.

Eternity of Yesterday - 11/26/07

11:59
Another day has past
What happens to the time?
Eternity's too fast

We're together today
Tomorrow you'll be gone
Just another day
Probably spent alone

Remembering things
That happened long ago
Castles and kings
A never-ending history

Though we don't know
About tomorrow
Yesterday is forever

The past will never change
History stays the same
The future is unknown
But eternity is yesterday

-----
What it's about; Pretty self explanatory, I'd think. Nothing in the past will ever change, while we don't know what the future will bring. Sometimes it's easier to think about things that have already passed and can't be rewritten, rather than focusing on things we're unsure about.

The Great Unknown - 11/06/07

Wishing it would disappear
It's too hard to ignore
All the confusion and fear
But is it part of the cure?

Not knowing what will happen
What tomorrow will bring
Will it be the end?
Or will the birds still sing?

Frozen beaches
Icy flames
Steamy mountains
Everything could change

Though we can't fully control
The future or past
We can help it along
And pray it doesn't crash

Never knowing what's in store
Could we have helped?
Maybe done more?

-----
What it's about; There's really no way to know exactly what's going to happen, and we can't fully correct the past. So it's better to do what you can now, rather than dwelling on things you can't change.

A Memory's Serenity - 11/06/07

People change
Few things stay the same
Through the memories
The good times remain

A brutal dispute
Sometimes irreconcilable
The meaning doesn't compute
They remain in the memory

Now others are gone
Goodnight forever
But through the song
They remain in the memory

Whatever reason
They're no longer here
They remain through a memory
A blissful serenity

-----
What it's about; People come and go, sometimes too fast, but so long as you remember to remember them, they stay with you forever.

Changing Fate - 11/25/07

So when will you go
Where will you stand
Looking through a broken window
Nothing in your hands

Make a different decision
Undo another mistake
Go along with careful precision
A different route you'll take

Every decision we make
To tell the truth or lie
Whichever road we take
Comes from what we tried

Life is a long journey
Shorter for others
Filled with doubts and worry
Your choice isn't always another's

Your fate is your own
The choices you make
Determine your road
Are you real or another fake?

-----
What it's about; Some people think the course of fate is set in stone, others don't. My personal opinion is that one moment in your life can literally change the rest of it forever. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, and sometimes it just changes. If you make on decision you'll go one way, and if you could go back in time and change it, that one thing could turn your life in a completely different direction. You can't fear it, you can only make the best decision for you when it comes along, and hope it works for the better.

Frozen in Flames - 11/01/07

Snowflakes falling
On an icy pond they land
Frozen in time
Before they reach your hand

The rain comes down
Hiding you
Your tiny town
Freezing farther through

Still for a while
The sun shines out
Around for miles
Without so much as a cloud

You're exposed now
You scatter to hide
Yet you're still found
A new fire inside

As the snow returns
And you're hidden once again
Deep inside you've changed
We will never be the same.

-----
What it's about; If you read If I Lied... this one might make more sense. It's about the same person, the same situation, and there are quite a few more. Different emotions, but the same basic thing. Just FYI.
Other notes; This one would be confusing to anyone who doesn't know who and what I'm talking about, but for various reasons the 'sun' is representing the truth, whereas the snow and hiding is representing all the lies. Long story.

Quick note

I tend to go through spurts where I'll write a bunch of poems in one night, when I'm caught up in things and can't take it anymore. That's why you'll see clumps of poems with the same date on them.
Just an explanation.

Raining - 10/30/07

The rain pours down
Almost without a sound
Reminding me
How it used to be

Years of thunder
Crashes of lightening
Ending with disaster
We can't help missing

The wind is whispering
The dampness subsides
Never truly retreating
The gash forever wide.

-----
What it's about; I had an aunt die of cancer in 2005. I wasn't extremely close to her, but it hurt nonetheless.
Other notes; This one's filled with metaphors, namely the rain and other elements. She was a talented artist and it seemed to fit, for some reason.

Darkness - 10/30/07

The darkness closes in
Shadows all across your skin
Hurting yourself
To make up for all that's gone wrong

Does it give you satisfaction
To know what you're doing?
Do you feel better
From the razor you're using?

I may not understand
All you're going through
But one thing I know
I'm here if you need a hand

I wish I could help
But you tell me it's nothing
You shrug it off
But inside I know you're hurting

I'm worried all day
They ask and I say I'm okay
I wish I could help you
Just tell me what to do.

-----
What it's about; This was a time that I was having trouble handling things. More than one of my friends wasn't doing so well, and I felt it was my responsibility to help them. I almost didn't know how, and feeling helpless isn't ever the best thing.
Other notes; Part of this poem actually came from something else I had been writing at that time, and it spiraled into this piece.

If I Lied... - 10/30/07

I can't say I miss you
As that would be a lie
I'd like to say I need you
But then I'd wonder why

We tried it twice
And I actually bothered
To try and make it right
But now I know
It will simply never work

We had our fun
Good times
Reminiscence
Yet all good things must end
So if you like
I could tell you again

I'm sorry
It's all I can say
I'm just not in need
So I simply can't stay.

-----
What it's about; Really topsy-turvy relationship. Not fun. Not all the time.

One Side - 10/30/07

On one side of the road are we
Multi colored hair
Studs and chains
Dark is what we wear

Across the road
You stand

Trees burnt to the ground
Harsh words whispered
Barely a sound

You don't seem to care
About future humanity
Yet how we wear our hair
Your first priority

Why so important
The way we dress?
When there are people starving
What about the rest?

On a side of the road
Here we are
Walking home in the sand

Push the pedal
Drive forward
Another part of the road
And there you stand

- - - - -
What it's about; If it's not simple enough to figure out, clearly I'm having a problem conveying my point.
Other notes; Not my favorite. I've never been sure just how much I like it. There are parts I think need changing, but I can't figure out which parts.

And I welcome you to the insanity....

If you're reading this, you probably know [or should know] that I have other blogs.
In any case, this one is purely for creativeness. Poetry. [no it isn't particularly good. I'm not the worst, no, but I am far from nearly the best. Practice takes time, kids.] creative writing, and whatever else pops into my head.
I'm sure to forget about this for some time, until I have something to share. So if I don't post anything for three months, don't fret - I will return.